Fancy Dream

This excruciating feeling of my inside. Just keeps on coming back. Every night, every night....

Fri, 24 Aug 2012 11:43:03 -0400

This excruciating feeling of my inside. Just keeps on coming back. Every night, every night. I’m so helpless.

holding on and letting go- Ross Copperman

Fri, 11 May 2012 00:03:57 -0400

It’s everything we wanted

It’s everything we don’t

It’s one door swinging open

And one door swinging closed

...

Thu, 10 May 2012 23:50:23 -0400

Thu, 10 May 2012 03:53:04 -0400

If happy ever after did exist, I’d still be holding you like this.

I miss everything about you..

Wed, 09 May 2012 11:49:19 -0400

EVERYTHING! FML. FML.FML. why does it have to end this way.why do these things need to happen? Why do i have to live everyday just wishing you are with me..always. Like we used to be.

just EFF my life right now.

Finally… Had a long walk around the subdivision with my childhood buddies.:) They fetched me...

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 11:59:39 -0400

Finally…

Had a long walk around the subdivision with my childhood buddies.:) They fetched me at home and we spent the night reminiscing about our memories back then. Certainly, they never changed. :D They never failed to make me laugh till now. It’s funny how people managed their lives and be wherever they are now. Nearly 4 years had passed yet we’re still the same, crazy as ever. :D

I feel awkward having one of my friend’s boyfriend to walk with us. It just reminds me of someone I would really really want to be with everyday, right now and then (just like what we used to have day and night back then). How I wish I could invent a teleport device to fight this distance between us. But then, as the saying goes, IF IT’S MEANT TO BE, IT WILL BE. Maybe someday, ~~because love is patient.~~

~~I still love you.~~

Photo

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 09:46:04 -0500

it was one of the days when everything just feels so good...

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 09:43:41 -0500

LET THIS DAY PASS without even giving a damn… and I SWEEEAAAR… demmit.

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 09:29:40 -0500

LET THIS DAY PASS without even giving a damn…

and I SWEEEAAAR… demmit.

That moment when everything’s going perfect and you want it to stay that way, but you are...

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 19:42:04 -0500

That moment when everything’s going perfect and you want it to stay that way, but you are always caught between choosing among the “choices”.

And by the way, who says I’m going to engage in a short-term relationship?

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 13:54:56 -0500

And by the way, who says I’m going to engage in a short-term relationship?

We're the total opposite.

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 09:02:09 -0500

Yet, we’re best friends.

We have a very conflicting attitude. She’s the kind of “what you think is what you say” person and I am the “Will just keep everything else to myself”. She could boldly show her anger without hesitations while I just leave it all behind with a poker face. She could speak what her heart wanted to say while I just leave it all to my thoughts. She would babble everything she thinks when angered while I just keep my mouth shut and make people realize my anger through my silence. I am good in looking at the situation of a person and understanding them instead, but she has the power to look deeper and discover the hidden agenda from the way a person acts or speaks. She’s a real psycho, seriously. She could see things just by trying to look at the person and I am always on the “I haven’t noticed anything” confusion.

But then, maybe that’s the reason why I am so much into writing. Maybe because I don’t know how to express myself fearlessly right at that moment and writing is my only escape from all the rage I feel inside me.

She could bluntly display her emotions while I would just tend to keep it all inside me, for a moment. Just keep it, but never try to make me reach my edge coz no one would like it when I explode myself. And it was her, only her, who was able to witness the other side of me when things are too much for me to keep.

AND I ALWAYS BELIEVE IN KARMA. I just love sitting back, and watch karma punch you in your face. That is to those people who have wronged me. bow.

leilockheart: quote submitted by chasingallyzah I must to...

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 08:28:56 -0500

leilockheart:

quote submitted by chasingallyzah

I must to reblog.

Just want to say hello to my bloated eyes. :)) I.JUST.CAN’T.SLEEP. it will surely be a...

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 13:03:58 -0500

Just want to say hello to my bloated eyes. :))

I.JUST.CAN’T.SLEEP.

it will surely be a struggle for me ~~tomorrow~~ later then…

The thing that drained my drowsiness.

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 11:12:40 -0500

Right in the middle of the night. Exactly when the coldness held my body a captive in an instance. My body’s frozen as I stare blankly at that “thing” and million thoughts run into my mind. I wanted to run and go somewhere else where I could pour this heavy feelings out.

And this, for the record, is the first instance where I never knew could hurt so much.

Should I be sorry coz you think I’m different? Should I apologize coz you think I’m not good enough for him? Should I be shamefaced coz I grew up from the other side of the world and couldn’t adapt in your “simple” life in here? Should I even be guilt-ridden coz I’m a bit classy? Should I be remorseful that you feel like I belong to a different circle of people?

For months, I’ve been struggling. Seriously, I’ve been trying my best to fit in your world. I’ve been exerting myself to lean down and show you that there’s nothing that we should be contrasted for. I’ve been adjusting myself so hard, but nothing could change my personality ( coz I’ve got no problems on that).

I can’t even blame you! And I don’t have plans on blaming anyone if you’re against us. All I need is a little respect. Never judge the way you don’t want to be judged. Just try to look at me without any price tags on. Try to befriend me as normal as it could possibly be. Try to know me as plain as I could possibly be in your eyes.

All I want is to prove that I’ve got no reason to hide my face coz of shame. There’s nothing that I should be ashamed of. BUT certainly you have. I’ve been paid unequally. That fucking moment when I never gave myself the chance to criticize you the wrong way even from the very first time that I saw you.

Hell.

-02.21.12

And out of all the flowers I’ve ever received, this one...

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 07:17:00 -0500

And out of all the flowers I’ve ever received, this one lasted the longest.:)

AND I WAS BLOWN AWAY.. that’s when vanity strikes my...

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 09:52:09 -0500

AND I WAS BLOWN AWAY..

that’s when vanity strikes my Mom.<3

just try to prove me your worth.

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 03:52:45 -0500

He's a real gentleman.

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:18:39 -0500

It has been like a thousand years ago since the last time I’ve been with him. I remember him most when he cooked me some noodles while I was snoozing coz Iwas a bit drunk. :D The very day that he called me “chubby” and I thought it was “chappy”. hahah.

We had lunch together.. and had a very nice conversation. SOMETHING FUNNY DID HAPPEN when his ex passed us by and he felt like jumping and woosh..disappearing. hahahahahhahaha!

that seriously PISSED ME OFF.

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 07:49:44 -0500

that seriously ~~PISSED ME OFF.~~